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Why Relationships Need More Than Just Time

They Need Quality Time

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day grind and assume that simply being around each other is enough to maintain a strong relationship. But the truth is, it’s not about the amount of time we spend together, it’s about how we spend it.


That’s something we were reminded of during a recent dinner at Garden on 6th in Alexandria. The food was incredible—the bruschetta, mushroom ravioli, and kale & quinoa bowl were all amazing, and we couldn’t resist the flourless chocolate torte. But what made the evening truly special wasn’t the menu—it was the intentional time we took to connect.


Why Quality Time is Essential


For us, maintaining a strong relationship means we are intentional about having focused, meaningful interactions. Quality time isn’t about grand gestures or extravagant trips; it’s about being fully present, whether that’s during a dinner date, a walk in the park, or even a simple conversation over coffee (tea for Tom).

We notice this time spent together helps to fuel our relationship in multiple ways.


✔️ It keeps the passion alive – Shared experiences and uninterrupted time together reignite the connection between us. Thinking about our time together and the conversations we share brings me goosebumps. It is so amazing to connect with someone on such a deep level. Whether it is with our partners, family, friends; these connections give us a passion for life.


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It builds trust and commitment – Prioritizing our relationship shows one another that we matter, strengthening our emotional bond, helping to build trust. Where my “trust meter” is at is a good indicator for me if we are spending enough quality time together. While Tom and I spend a lot of time in the same vicinity (we work together at the clinic), our days are often quite parallel with little deep discussions or interactions-its all about our important work! This makes it extra important for us to take time to connect, letting the workday and stressors go.


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It reduces stress – Spending time together provides emotional support, helping both of us to navigate life’s challenges. If I am feeling stressed-I say it out loud to Tom. I explain what I am feeling, sometimes why but other times I am not even sure why. When I bring it to light, talk it out with him, it often helps me to uncover and realize why I am feeling overwhelmed. His softness and ability to listen also helps to strengthen our bond.


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It improves communication – Meaningful conversations (not just logistical check-ins!) help prevent misunderstandings and deepen connection. If I am feeling upset about something he said or did-I will say it! I try to do this right away, to prevent it from building emotions and growing. Spending quality time together allows this bond between us to remain strong, giving me the confidence to share with him my concerns.


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It creates lasting memories – The time you invest in each other today becomes the foundation of a lifetime of shared stories. I love our time together. Building a foundation of quality time, allows us to keep this strong and reflect on the great times we have had together while continuing to make more wonderful memories. While we enjoy traveling, we know that we don’t always have time for a week or even weekend getaway. Spending quality time together often looks like a walk around town, stopping into Goat Ridge, taking a ride in the car, or even snuggling up on the couch without any distractions. It is these small intentional moments that really add up.


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It boosts emotional well-being – Having a strong, supportive relationship can help combat feelings of loneliness and even reduce symptoms of depression. I used to struggle with depression, anxiety, and just overall feeling lonely. I no longer do. I believe this to be due to my intention to create meaningful connections and relationships. When my children are talking to me I stop what I am doing and listen. When my grandchildren are over, my to-do list, no matter how urgent is put on hold and no longer takes up space in my mind. I try to be present in all I do. This helps me to feel connected to those around me, because I am allowing myself to be more fully present. I have found that my life wasn’t lacking a perfect relationship, it was lacking me showing up for my life and taking the courage, time and awareness to be fully present. THAT has made all the difference in my emotional well-being.


How to Prioritize Quality Time and Connections with Others in a Busy Life


Make It a Priority – If you don’t schedule it, it won’t happen. Set aside dedicated time for each other, even if it’s just a short daily check-in at lunch or end of day.


Put Away the Distractions – No phones, no TV, no multitasking. Being fully present is one of the most meaningful ways to show love. I try to have a no phones rule at the end of the evening. This is not only a distraction when you could be connecting with your partner, but also can interfere with sleep as blue light from your devices suppressed the release of melatonin, the hormone that helps you to feel sleepy. It can also delay your natural sleep cycle, increase mental stimulation, and increase stress and anxiety. I find putting down my phone in the evening not only helps me to connect more with those around me, including Tom, but also to sleep better!


Try New Experiences Together – Whether it’s trying a new restaurant (like we did!) or picking up a hobby together, novelty helps strengthen bonds. This month we are taking a ski trip together with family. Time on the slopes helps us to connect with a fun activity!


Make the Small Moments Count – Not every moment has to be planned. A quick hug, a shared joke, or a walk after dinner can be just as meaningful. I love when Tom stops to kiss me on the cheek, put his arm on my back-oh those are the moments. And hugs from my kids and grandkids are the BEST!


Love is in the Little Things

What I took away from our dinner at Garden on 6th is that quality time doesn’t have to be complicated, it just has to be intentional. Whether it’s a fancy night out or a simple conversation over coffee, making space for real connection keeps relationships strong.


So, let’s put the phones down. Let’s carve out time. Let’s be present. Because in the end, relationships don’t thrive on proximity alone—they thrive on presence. While February is a great reminder on why we love, love…lets get back in the habit of creating the intention of bringing connection to the frontline in all we do.


How do you and your loved ones make time for each other? I’d love to hear your thoughts! 💕



-Elizabeth


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